


if a tree falls into a creek and no one is around to hear it, does it still screech like a pterodactyl?

by the_hodag



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pouty Patrick, Prompt Fill, Smug David, hiking mishaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25728718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_hodag/pseuds/the_hodag
Summary: Patrick falls into a creek. David tries not to laugh as he helps him out.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 21
Kudos: 127





	if a tree falls into a creek and no one is around to hear it, does it still screech like a pterodactyl?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ships_to_sail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ships_to_sail/gifts).



> this was a prompt fill for “Patrick falls. David helps him up.” so i figured eh maybe the archive would like this lil ditty too

Before now, David doesn’t think he ever felt so much pride in being right. The corner of his lips threaten to curl upwards, the heels of his utilitarian boots digging into the mud as he plucks Patrick from the water with slightly condescending words of affirmation and a shoulder squeeze.

Patrick flails his arms, water dripping from the sleeves of his hoodie as he turns to fish the picnic basket from the creek and set it at his feet. “It’s not funny, David,” he says, his tolerance for David’s half-assed attempt at sincerity clearly running thin. A melodramatic pout settles on his face, accentuated by droplets and clumps of hair that stick to his forehead.

“Mm. I _did_ warn you that those rocks looked unstable.” David drops the backpack on his shoulders to the ground, opening its flap to rifle through it. “You made a noise I’ve _never_ heard you make before.” 

“God, I’m...I’m all wet, now,” Patrick mumbles to himself. He unzips his sweater, peels it from his body before wringing it out and tying it around his waist. The black v-neck underneath clings to Patrick’s skin in a way that might have been attractive had the fabric not been impressively stained with mud.

“Like a pterodactyl screech.” David digs out the neatly folded knitted blanket he had stashed at the bottom of the pack. “It was almost majestic.”

“Please. Keep laughing at my expense.”

“Oh, I plan to,” David responds, unraveling the blanket to wrap it tightly around his shivering husband. He offers a comforting smile. “Loudly. And without a hint of empathy.”

Patrick’s smile is sheepish as David plucks a twig from his wet hair. 

“I don’t know what to think about the fact that you only ever injure yourself on these hiking trips when you’re with me,” David continues, pulling Patrick in tighter to run his hands along his blanketed shoulders in a vague attempt at providing warmth.

“It’s your gravitational pull setting me off-balance.”

“Hmph. Romantic. But also mildly insulting?”

“Forgive me if my romantic intuition isn’t currently firing on all cylinders, David. Mildly insulting one-liners are all I’ve got for you right now. That and a bunch of...wet bread.”

“The soggy ciabatta is a tragedy of epic proportions—I won’t deny that—but I can live without the carbs,” David reluctantly admits with a kiss to Patrick’s forehead. “Though the next time you want to practice your lil gymnastics routine, I’d advise against accessorizing with wicker.”

“Noted.”

**Author's Note:**

> so because i used the words “lil ditty” in the beginning notes, i now have the song “jack and diane” in my head. not sure what to do with that.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] if a tree falls into a creek and no one is around to hear it, does it still screech like a pterodactyl?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28573629) by [sunlightsymphony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlightsymphony/pseuds/sunlightsymphony)




End file.
